make believe in black and white

colour is too much. the light is blinding and the red reminds you of joy. so we make believe in black and white. it seems long gone this way. the memory not so imminent.

you place distance and barriers. you hope for interest from significant others. you plead for an absence of meaningful dreams. you stare longingly at articles pertaining to your experience. you live in a contradictory balance. like sleep walking. halfway between awake and sleeping.

you try to justify this absence of emotion. or the tears that spring unromantically while you wait for your coffee at 8:59am. the rain hitting you from under your umbrella reminds you of truth. it is staring you in the face. full of colour. the red dirt road is a black and white image left to gather dust. it sits behind the memory of climbing apple trees and running low on soy milk. it is confused.

so you walk forward and the weeks have gone by too fast. but that is ok. the further you get away from it, the easier it may become. you hope.

and then someone mentions it, or you hear of a strangers similar experience, and the word leaving or goodbye pulls at the barely healed scab.

remember us. never forget.

i made up the word unromantically.